The daily all
Shaving tips for men
This post is mainly for men, although girls could also take note and point their S.O. towards this page if he’s getting out of the bathroom red-faced and bleeding from a thousand small cuts. Trust me, I speak from experience.
You see, I’ve been on a quest for razor systems that don’t suck since my late teens, and it wasn’t easy. I have sensitive skin and tough stubbles, which pretty much guaranteed razor burn every bloody time. I’ve been through the whole Gillette range — and some Wilkinson on the side. I’ve tried electric, but to my horror I discovered that it only replaces razor burn with dried-out skin patches, that look (and feel) even more horrid.
Until a friend of mine recommended an old-fashion safety razor. He had sort of the same problems, and he swears by it, so I said I’ll give it a try. Turns out it’s not only the razor; it’s the whole shaving process. I was doing it VERY wrong.
After two years of great shaving, here’s what I learned so far:
- Moisture is really important. Always shave after a shower — barring that, get and use a hot towel to soften the stubbles. This is the most important step to a pain-free shave; I can’t stress this enough. If there’s no hot towel available and you don’t have time for a shower (!), splash your face for at least one minute with hot water — as hot as you can stand.
- The shaving cream or soap or whatever you’re going to use should be on the oily side, so that the razor slides on the skin. Slide. Not scrape. A shaving brush helps, but it’s not necessary for every products. There are some lather-free creams out there which are better applied by hand.
- The shaving itself. Regardless of the razor you use, you should always shave in the direction that your hair grows (with the grain, as it’s called). Don’t shave against the grain, even if you think the result is not smooth enough. That’s going to lead to ingrown hairs, which are a major pain. Shave in small increments and rinse your razor often. Don’t forget that it’s trimming, not scrapping: don’t push the razor against your face. It’s better to trim incrementally (say, 4–5 times on the same spot) than to scrape it all in one go. By the way, if you have a safety razor, you should NEVER EVER scrape; you’ll end up looking like you got shaved by Freddy Krueger.
- IMPORTANT: use sharp blades. No kidding. On a safety razor, a blade should be used for only two shaves, three tops. Fortunately they’re quite cheap, compared to the modern contraptions. A sharp blade slides; a dull blade pulls the skin and gives cuts and burns.
- Putting on some manly aftershave lotion is important. What is even more important is putting on some rather less manly moisturising face cream afterwards. Or go for a alcohol-free aftershave balm.
- Oh, and one more thing. Whenever you have the chance — like weekends in the woods, or fantasy conventions or whatever — give your face a rest. One or two days without shaving every now and then is good for the skin.
And that’s about it. I shave mainly with a safety razor nowadays — it’s something of a guilty pleasure for me, and I understand if people don’t want to invest the time in learning how to use one. It’s well worth it, in my opinion, but your mileage may vary.
I also own a Gillette Fusion (the one with the battery in the handle), which I use as travel razor, or if I’m really in a hurry. I find that microvibrations in the razor blade are the most important invention in the field of shaving in the last 30 years. If you don’t want a safety razor, this is in my opinion the way to go.
If you’re fortunate enough to have one of those old-fashioned barber shops in the neighbourhood, do yourself a favour and get a shave there. You’ll experience first-hand what I’ve told you above, and then you can make up your own mind about shaving techniques. And if you have problems like razor burn and ingrown hairs, you can ask the barber for advice; he’s a professional after all.
A woman’s hobbies in a modern world
There is too much going on in a modern woman’s life. Education, lovers, job, husband, competing with men, children, another husband, feminism… to name just a few highlights. But no self-respecting modern woman would let any of the above define her in any way, shape or form. After all, individuality is her most prized possession, one worth fighting whitened tooth and polished nail for. And what would define you better than your hobbies?
But not just any hobbies, God forbid. Knitting? That’s a man’s job now. Shows his sensitive side, you know. No way you go fighting since the industrial revolution to get equal treatment just to pick up those needles again. Even book reading is sooo passé, although you’ve only been allowed to do that for a couple of centuries or so (a blip, historically speaking). No, we’re talking real hobbies here, showcasing your personality and suchlike, no sissy stuff allowed. “I’m a woman, hear me ROAAAAR!” kinda stuff. Ahem.
To help you along in your quest, I have compiled here a list of hobbies that no modern woman would be ashamed doing. Or bragging about in front of her less enlightened girlfriends. I feel compelled to add, also, that each and every entry on this list has been carefully researched, and is 100% certified female hobby material.
- Martial arts. Always a favorite with the ladies, this hobby has the distinct advantage of improving not only your fitness, but your power of concentration as well, not to mention your mood in general. Plus it enables you to kick some serious tail, so much so that you’ll actually begin to look forward to PMS. Also works well as a motivator — “get off that couch or else” — and it makes for a great conversation starter — “yeah, I’ve been Tae-kwon-do national women champion 5 years in a row. So what’cha doin’ tonight?” A sure winner.
- Welding. Not just for guys any more. Getting up close and personal with a piece of metal while yielding a 3000°C blowtorch tends to put the rest of the day’s problems into the perspective they deserve. Plus now you get to make all the flower pot stands and candle holders you want, and nobody can comment about their abundant presence around the house. After all, they’re your creations.
- Pottery. An alternative to welding. You basically replace the blowtorch with the potter’s wheel. The end products will be remarkably similar too; only the material will differ. Not to mention that ever since Demi Moore got sandwiched between a lump of clay and a lump of Patrick Swayze in “Ghost”, pottery is one sexy occupation.
- Driving. Yes, driving. And I’m not talking daily commute, go-get-your-groceries-and-get-back-home kind of driving. I’m talking about the serious, pedal-to-the-metal, rubber-burning kind. Be sure to know all there is to know about injectors, nitrous, turbochargers and the like. And get yourself a Subaru Impreza WRX. If you don’t like the looks of it, any serious car will do; just remember to leave a pair of sneakers in the trunk, as stiletto heels are not very handy for serious pedal work. And get ready to watch their jaws land on their laps as you do a handbrake-assisted second gear launch at your next traffic light.
- Puzzle solving. Demonstrate your superior intelligence and observational skills by solving puzzles. Any kind of puzzles. Rubik cubes, enigmas, jigsaw puzzles, sudoku, IQ tests… nothing is too big, nothing too small for you. Be sure to have plenty of witnesses as you cruise down the Mensa lane. Bonus points if said witnesses just failed the same tests and/or asked you for help.
- Hunting. Men no longer need be the only providers in the family. Prove your prowess by putting meat on the table with your extraordinary track and aim abilities. You don’t necessarily have to shoot anything; a quick stop at the butcher’s before heading home is just as efficient (hubby does it all the time after all). Just be sure to polish your storytelling skills.
- Yoga, Pilates and the like. A bit old-fashioned, maybe, but still popular with your Starbucks crowd. Use with caution.
- Witchcraft. Every modern woman has at least once in the course of her life though about being (or becoming) a witch. Because you got tired of kissing frogs, and now you want to get into the frog manufacturing business. It’s tiresome, but rewarding, and it looks really great on your CV. “I’m a high priestess. Hire me, or forever be cursed.” That’s the spirit.
- Blogging. This is the ultimate modern hobby for the ultimate modern woman. It’s just like gossip, but on a global scale, and since it’s nicely written down, you get to call it “journalism”. Or just journal. Or whatever, as long as you get to brag about it. Blogs away!
This modest attempt at categorizing is by no means exhaustive, nor does it pretend to be. I am painfully aware that I merely scratched the surface of the life-defining hobbies of modern women. I will be sure to continue my research in this fascinating subject. After all, men should also have hobbies.
