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An evangelical pastor from the great state of Florida has decided to single-handedly win the war on terror by burning a few exemplars of the Quran, Islam’s holy book, on September the 11th. This is most probably the opening move of a cunning plan to attract Islamic terrorists to his home town of Gainesville, where they will be promptly set upon by legions of mosquitoes, alligators and retired New Yorkers.
Terry Jones, age 58, further declared that „a burning of the Koran is to call attention that something is wrong”. Contacted for comment, his psychiatrist wholeheartedly agreed, mentioning that it is his hope that with care and therapy he will be able to correct what’s wrong with Mr. Jones.
In a move that is clearly designed to shock and anger Mr. Jones and his congregation, a large number of Muslims has decided to completely ignore the pastor and his fundamentalist plans. A small number of Muslims from his home state of Florida intend, however, to organize a burning of their own, by setting fire to their cable news subscription. “Burning the Quran is an attack on our God, so we decided to respond in kind”, an anonymous participant declared. It is largely expected that Terry Jones will back down in the face of this latest threat.