There is too much going on in a modern woman’s life. Education, lovers, job, husband, competing with men, children, another husband, feminism… to name just a few highlights. But no self-respecting modern woman would let any of the above define her in any way, shape or form. After all, individuality is her most prized possession, one worth fighting whitened tooth and polished nail for. And what would define you better than your hobbies?
But not just any hobbies, God forbid. Knitting? That’s a man’s job now. Shows his sensitive side, you know. No way you go fighting since the industrial revolution to get equal treatment just to pick up those needles again. Even book reading is sooo passé, although you’ve only been allowed to do that for a couple of centuries or so (a blip, historically speaking). No, we’re talking real hobbies here, showcasing your personality and suchlike, no sissy stuff allowed. “I’m a woman, hear me ROAAAAR!” kinda stuff. Ahem.
To help you along in your quest, I have compiled here a list of hobbies that no modern woman would be ashamed doing. Or bragging about in front of her less enlightened girlfriends. I feel compelled to add, also, that each and every entry on this list has been carefully researched, and is 100% certified female hobby material.
- Martial arts. Always a favorite with the ladies, this hobby has the distinct advantage of improving not only your fitness, but your power of concentration as well, not to mention your mood in general. Plus it enables you to kick some serious tail, so much so that you’ll actually begin to look forward to PMS. Also works well as a motivator – “get off that couch or else” – and it makes for a great conversation starter – “yeah, I’ve been Tae-kwon-do national women champion 5 years in a row. So what’cha doin’ tonight?” A sure winner.
- Welding. Not just for guys any more. Getting up close and personal with a piece of metal while yielding a 3000°C blowtorch tends to put the rest of the day’s problems into the perspective they deserve. Plus now you get to make all the flower pot stands and candle holders you want, and nobody can comment about their abundant presence around the house. After all, they’re your creations.
- Pottery. An alternative to welding. You basically replace the blowtorch with the potter’s wheel. The end products will be remarkably similar too; only the material will differ. Not to mention that ever since Demi Moore got sandwiched between a lump of clay and a lump of Patrick Swayze in “Ghost“, pottery is one sexy occupation.
- Driving. Yes, driving. And I’m not talking daily commute, go-get-your-groceries-and-get-back-home kind of driving. I’m talking about the serious, pedal-to-the-metal, rubber-burning kind. Be sure to know all there is to know about injectors, nitrous, turbochargers and the like. And get yourself a Subaru Impreza WRX. If you don’t like the looks of it, any serious car will do; just remember to leave a pair of sneakers in the trunk, as stiletto heels are not very handy for serious pedal work. And get ready to watch their jaws land on their laps as you do a handbrake-assisted second gear launch at your next traffic light.
- Puzzle solving. Demonstrate your superior intelligence and observational skills by solving puzzles. Any kind of puzzles. Rubik cubes, enigmas, jigsaw puzzles, sudoku, IQ tests… nothing is too big, nothing too small for you. Be sure to have plenty of witnesses as you cruise down the Mensa lane. Bonus points if said witnesses just failed the same tests and/or asked you for help.
- Hunting. Men no longer need be the only providers in the family. Prove your prowess by putting meat on the table with your extraordinary track and aim abilities. You don’t necessarily have to shoot anything; a quick stop at the butcher’s before heading home is just as efficient (hubby does it all the time after all). Just be sure to polish your storytelling skills.
- Yoga, Pilates and the like. A bit old-fashioned, maybe, but still popular with your Starbucks crowd. Use with caution.
- Witchcraft. Every modern woman has at least once in the course of her life though about being (or becoming) a witch. Because you got tired of kissing frogs, and now you want to get into the frog manufacturing business. It’s tiresome, but rewarding, and it looks really great on your CV. “I’m a high priestess. Hire me, or forever be cursed.” That’s the spirit.
- Blogging. This is the ultimate modern hobby for the ultimate modern woman. It’s just like gossip, but on a global scale, and since it’s nicely written down, you get to call it “journalism”. Or just journal. Or whatever, as long as you get to brag about it. Blogs away!
This modest attempt at categorizing is by no means exhaustive, nor does it pretend to be. I am painfully aware that I merely scratched the surface of the life-defining hobbies of modern women. I will be sure to continue my research in this fascinating subject. After all, men should also have hobbies.